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My Organized Chaos.

So I think it goes without saying, but I'm going to say it anyway. Worst season of The Bachelor yet! Just painful. I am that person who sat on the couch with my hand clasped over my mouth with anticipation. Who also screamed, "I told you!" to my husband who was also yelling at the television screen, "This guy is an idiot! A complete moron!" It was heated. But seriously? I think the majority of viewers saw that one coming. I just wish Nikki would have found her ovaries - you could see from the look on her face when he didn't propose that she was searching for them - and slap JP in the freaking face making him forget what "little" English he knows.

Now to do an entire 360 and change the topic of conversation. Remember when I was trying to find balance in my chaotic life? Well if you couldn't tell by this here blog lacking in her greatness, I'm still struggling. It's actually incredibly frustrating.
inspiration, anxiety, stress, Philippians, quotes

I live by my calendar. I have our meals planned for the week and organized into coordinating tupperware. I have appointments I don't miss. I have shipments to process and packages to send out, which I don't skip a beat on. I wake up at 6am to write blog posts because that's when I find time to squeeze it in. My house is spotless because I wake up early on my Saturday morning off and get it done. The laundry is caught up thanks to my rockin' husband. The bills are paid. Jon has attempted to make me start making time for exercise again... (yesterday was my first run in 8 months). Don't ask.

All this to say that my life is complete organized chaos. Everything is written on the schedule or scratched off the to-do list. I think the organized chaos is harder than just pure chaos. Because I am constantly fretting over the next thing. What's going to happen next? Where do I need to be in 5 minutes? And when I finally find a moment to relax, I can't sit still because my overly organized brain made a to-do list that scrolled all the way into Mexico.

Want to know what clicked for me that it was getting a tad bit ridiculous? I started skipping my nightly bubble bath. Gasp! If you know me, you know how I feel about my bubble baths. And the few nights I have taken my bath, I bring my calendar, notebook, pen and phone with me. Hit the stinking breaks somebody! That was my "ah-ha" moment.

Do you know what I get from all of that? That I don't trust Him like I should and I need to take the fake superwoman costume off.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6

I know I am not the only woman out there that feels this way. Us ladies wear a bunch of different hats and we feel the need to balance it all. We can't do it alone. We can't do it at all. With Him we have the opportunity to feel content in what we can do. 
Rest on that verse today if you struggle with anxiety or restlessness. Love you, ladies!  

22 comments on "My Organized Chaos."
  1. Yes!! We shouldn't need to have to-do lists so long they overwhelm us...we don't need to feel like we have to accomplish everything. Trust is a good thing, even if it seems really hard at times!

  2. I'm struggling with this too... literally wrote half of a post like this when I was in bed last night! We can only do what we can do, you know? xo

  3. Love this, it is always so sweet to me when I realize how incapable I am. It makes The Lord so big and me so small, which is they way I think it should be! That's for sharing! Xoxo

  4. Ok, Bachelor talk real quick. I thought JP was a good choice before the season started - definitely more my type of man in the looks department, ha! But ohhh myyy godddd he can't carry a conversation for anything. I am SO glad for his season to be done! I hope Nikki comes to her senses soon and realizes he isn't interested in committing!

    I'm just like you with the planning and organizing. I wish it was easy to just chill!

  5. Okay I already ranted about the Bachelor all over twitter so 4 quick words: Juan Pablo is icky!

    That verse is an awesome one to remember!

  6. 1. I wish we were watching together. I was having big coversations with (more like AT) the tv. And I totally tuned in to GMA this morning just to see what else Chris Harrison had to say. :)

    2. I adore your heart. Per usual. And ohhhh the many hats we wear. BUT GOD! He holds us. We are His. And in Him is the only way we can find complete fullness and grace.

    Love you, lady!!! xx

  7. Don't get me started about the Bachelor, especially the last few episodes. Well, you know how I feel, but daaaannngggg. I could go on & on, HA! I am so like this, I try to do everything. I know I can't, but I still try for some reason. God doesn't want us to be like this!!

  8. Crossing things off my to-do list is so satisfying! Also, I knew he was going to pick Nikki from the beginning! I hates this season though :(

  9. I hear you about the Bachelor. Quite honestly, I don't think he and Nikki have a real healthy dynamic. He seems to very much have the power in the relationship. So much so, that she didn't talk much once he came out AND she basically just repeated what he said. It made me curious as to whether she has any original thoughts about the situation herself other than, "We're happy."

  10. Perfect post for me to read today, friend! Just when I think I feel the gravitational pull from the planet called Balance and get excited I'm almost there, something else sucks me back into outer space feeling lost and out of control like Sandra Bullock with all the things I have on my plate and need to get done. I was sitting here this morning with numerous blog post ideas in my drafts but nothing formulated, but too drained to do anything. So a day off is what I need to get the other things done that I need and to spend time with Him. That's what I've really been needing the most lately. I also think I need let those endorphines get me out of this funk I've been in! I even thought to myself the other day that I needed to go on a run, and that's when I realized I really must need it because those words don't notmally come out of my mouth! :) Thanks for this reminder to take the fake superwoman costume off!
    Eva Marie Taylor

  11. 1. Totally agree with your opening statement (...uh, awkward is this a court case?) because JP had no idea what in the heck he was doing. Nicki is from Kansas City (as am I) and that was the only reason I paid any sort of attention to the finale. I just couldn't believe that she put herself out there for him, raw ... in front of millions of people and he responded with, "I like you a lot". In their defense, that life isn't real life. The last 4 months haven't been real life, either. Men are simple (GASP, WHAT) in the fact that they express their emotions when they're ready. There isn't a secret language with them, it's black and white. And I think that's what JP was trying to say. That he truly does care about Nicki, but he doesn't know how every day real life with her is going to go. And instead of giving America what they wanted, he said "screw you" (in his awful accent) and walked away.
    2. I love that quote because it's so true. I want to be able to do everything, all the time. And it's impossible. But once we realize that nothing will be impossible with God (Luke 1:37) that's when we are able to organize our chaos and live our life.

    Love you sugar bear!

  12. Love that saying...just hard sometimes for me to remember it! :)
    Also....that episode last night was the most awkward thing I have ever watched in my entire life!!!!

  13. Thanks for sharing- I hope that you are able to find a place of balance soon with having a good schedule, but not booking your schedule so full that you have no time to just relax and be home.
    Life is such a balance in all areas, and sometimes, it's quite difficult to find!

  14. Too true! I always feel a little guilty because my husband does a lot of the house work because he works from home. I work a little over an hour from home so aside from my work day, I spend about 2.5 hours in the car. Which leaves me little time for anything when I get home and eat. I am incredibly grateful that he is so helpful and does it without complaint, but often I get caught up thinking they are things I should be doing instead of him. Clearly, have the whole gender roles thing ingrained a little too much in me! It's definitely been a learning opportunity.

    Danielle @ Allusional

  15. I tried all season to give JP the benefit of the doubt but last night that went out the window. He was so rude! But this post! How do we turn it off? I'm the same way where when I get a second to sit down and relax, I can't turn my brain off. It's so frustrating.

  16. Haha I don't watch the bachelor but every week my mom and dad come out of the den outraged. I don't think anyone likes him. And I broke out into a sweat just reading this crazy schedule- let some things fall to the wayside!! Your life won't crash if a few things get neglected :) And never skip that bubble bath again, haha!

    xo marlen
    Messages on a Napkin

  17. Ugh. You are so right. I am so disgusted by the whole deal. Although.. as mad as I was last night I still won 20 bucks in my family's Bachelor pool (similar to fantasy football... embarrassing I know).
    Also, I LOVE this bible verse. I always have it written inside of the front cover of my planner. Something about it just makes me take a deep breath and know that... ees okay! haha

  18. Yup, I very much struggle with this too! You're not alone!!!

  19. I am a strong advocate of organized chaos. I have everything planned. Life is so much easier when I am organized.

  20. This is totally how I feel, love. I'm right there with you. If you ever need to talk about your frustrations (and of course, can find five minutes!) feel free to hit me up. I'll take some time out of the current chaos (no organization present) to help.

  21. I totally feel ya, lady! My life is such organized (and endless) chaos. My church actually had a fantastic sermon on this very topic this weekend. Let me know if you're interested and I'll send you the link to listen to it. (Hopefully you can enjoy it from a bubble bath!) :-)


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