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Give Me Grace, Not The Rain, But An Entire Bucket

7.29.2014
That's my prayer throughout the day, everyday lately. 
I've been pretty distant. (Obviously).

There has been a lot going on and I'll explain more come Friday.
Lately I have been on a roller coaster of emotions and hormones. The thing is, I have so much on my plate right now and I'm finding that I can't balance it all like I wish I could. Running two businesses full time isn't an easy task and it has caused this blog of mine to take a back seat in a major way.

I've wanted to explain how I feel, but every time I sit down to throw my words out, I fail. I can't get my brain to coordinate with my fingers to express the words my heart feels. But I'm attempting it yet again today with the determination to hit "publish".

The only way I know how to explain it is that I am a perfectionist who can't keep up. I like to focus on our money-maker business running smoothly from 9am - 5pm/Mon - Fri, while attempting to run my boutique on the side which means either it doesn't happen at all or many late nights. I'm also desperate to attempt keeping a lovely home with fresh linens, vacuumed floors and clean toilets. I fail to keep lunches packed and dinners made leaving us to order in regularly. I attempt to stay healthy by actively using my gym membership, which many of nights I fail at due to exhaustion. I try to keep up with this blog like the full time business I want it to be, but I end up with many failed attempts. I want to keep a consistent schedule of using social media, but I find I don't want to look at my phone after talking on a business phone all day.

Something has to give. I completely miss the days of working from home and doing what I loved most. Being a serving wife, part time employee and a home maker.

My prayer has been that I would give myself grace. As a woman, I put far too much pressure on myself to wear many different hats and look pull each of them off perfectly. It's nonsense.

So Dear Jesus, 
Forget the rain, dump a bucket of grace and drench me. Please.
Xo,
Your daughter
Grace Like Rain by Todd Agnew on Grooveshark

19 comments on "Give Me Grace, Not The Rain, But An Entire Bucket"
  1. <3 and prayers, sweet lady! I hope grace overflows for you!

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  2. Oh Maegan you're so wonderfully created and oh so beautiful and talented. I love seeing your far off trips to happy places with your hubs & to see your businesses growing so much. All I know is that God is with you; it's apparent. You have Him by your side in all things you do. So log off, sit down and breathe. We will all be here encouraging you, loving you and missing you, but most importantly....we will be here regardless.

    Love you much, friend.

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  3. Oh friend....do not feel alone!! I have been going through the same thing! Life gets overwhelming and I think at times we do get too much on our plate! I think we have to stop, put our eyes on him and let God take care of us!! God is good!

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  4. Oh friend. I think I understand part of what you are going through. I'm working two jobs and am just walking around in a constant state of exhaustion. It definitely takes away from what I want to do and how I want to invest my time and something does have to give. Definitely praying for you girl. Take care of yourself.

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  5. You are not alone girl, juggling so much is absolutely overwhelming! This season will pass, just keep your head up and stay strong, clinging to Jesus and praying that prayer. I am praying it with you, for you. We're all here for you sweet girl.

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  6. Speaking of grace like rain...another one of my faves. I love to just repeat the main lyrics over and over to myself sometimes... "let it rain, let it rain...open the floodgates of heaven..." Grace like rain, girl. Love you!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB7fCjDsWf8

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  7. Ohhhh Maegen, I have been feeling the same exact way! I spent some time reading the Bible last night. It had honestly been the first time in months. January & February I did so good reading a devotional & the Bible. Makes me feel bad! I felt more at peace, even through all the chaos that still would occur. I read some in Romans, then Proverbs 31 (hello, smack in the face! That's what I want to be!), then somehow I got to Matthew. The verses were saying not to give up, seeking His kingdom & His righteousness first & all the things will be provided for us, & not to worry. Worry is my biggie! I really hate it. I want to give it ALL to God, but sometimes I just don't know how to truly give it ALL to Him, if that makes sense? I tend to over think & stress, even when I say I want to give it all to Him. In my Bible, it has extra stuff on the side to read & one part said, "God has given your preferences & passions on purpose. He knows you will accomplish more for the kingdom when you are working in an area that you love. If bringing God glory is your first priority, then you will always make wise decisions. They may sometimes be tough, but in the end, you will have made the right choice." I sent that to B too ;) Isaiah 11:2 "The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him— the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and of might, the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the Lord" Sorry to write you a book but know you are not alone! Text me whenever you feel like talk, call or Facetime me when you want to cry, scream, or do whatever!

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  8. I find that the conversation for most women these days is centered around trying to find balance. I was honesty talking to my best friend about this last night. There is a misconception out there that women can have, do, and make it all. But the truth is that we can't. And that is okay. Find what makes you happy and follow that path. Trying to force yourself into an idea or expectation you have of yourself is not worth it if it makes you miserable. I hope you find peace soon.

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  9. I love reading your blog and hope that your prayers are answered :) I've been reciting the same prayer too lately. For a whole ocean of grace to wash over me!

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  10. Oh girl nobody can do it all! I hope you can find some balance in your life and I hope that you find it soon.

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  11. A friend and I stole a line from a song...Instead of saying like Lord help you or I'm praying for you or even it's okay...Basically any opportunity. We would say: :"grace like rain" and then make the gesture of rain fallling LOL love you!

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  12. Praying you feel refreshed and at peace so very soon!

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  13. Praying for you! I have an idea of how difficult that is and know that if you ever need to talk about the craziness and emotions and frustrations of it all (especially being a business owner), I'm always here to listen! XO

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  14. Keeping you in my prayers, sweet girl! I know how this feels. I wish we lived near each other so you could vent all about it to me. And so I could sneak in and clean your house for you ;)

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  15. Praying you find the perfect balance soon and a big 'ole bucket of His grace :)

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  16. Nobody can do everything perfectly and enjoy it--at least that's what I'm convinced of. It's hard, though, when you really truly want to be a part of so many good things. They're all good--but sometimes too much is just too much!

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  17. I feel you. I'm feeling overwhelmed right now, too. Feel free to let me know if you need to talk. :)

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