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Real Talk || Struggling With Getting Pregnant || Part One

1.07.2015

I'm going to share some of my heart with you today. Part of my goal for myself in 2015 as a blogger is to be someone others can relate too, not someone who hides behind their blog pretending to live in a "perfect world". What better way to do that than share about one of the most vulnerable times in my life? I know that by sharing today, one of you may be touched, enlightened, or uplifted and if that can happen for just one person than I consider this a success.

Jon and I were married June 2, 2012. (Yep, we are coming up on our three year wedding anniversary and I can't believe it!). The day we were married a part of my heart was filled so deeply. You see, I always, always, always wanted to be a wife and a mother first and foremost in life. I dreamed about it, wrote about it in my diary and played "make believe wife and mom" in my room. So the day part of that dream became a reality I swear I was on cloud nine.

We were both ready to have kids right away, but we agreed it would be better for us and our future children if we took time to just be "us" for awhile. Besides, being newlyweds was way more fun anyway and we had our whole life ahead of us!

A year passed, rather quickly I might add, and in April 2013 we started talking babies. We were giddy with excitement and decided to start trying right away. I can remember the talk we had perfectly in the car ride on our way to church. I thought, "Oh my gosh! We are really doing this!" To us, the timing was perfect! The only problem was we were naive enough to think it was something that would happen right away. I mean it happens daily for teenage girls and those who aren't even trying. Why would we be an exception? I wanted a baby. I had always wanted a baby. I was going to be the best mother in the world. I deserved a baby.

Deserved.

I spent years thinking I deserved to be a mother. Not even once did I consider it to be one of the most precious gifts our Heavenly Father bestows upon us individually. That chip on my shoulder was my problem. And it was going to be my biggest struggle and become my deepest prayer for another year and 2 months.

To be continued... on Friday

19 comments on "Real Talk || Struggling With Getting Pregnant || Part One"
  1. Wow. I had no idea you guys struggled to get pregnant. That makes me even more happy for you that you are now and finally got your wish! I can't wait to hear the rest of your story!

    <3, Pamela
    Sequins & Sea Breezes

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  2. I get you. And your heart. Adore them both, sweet wife and mama dreamer. xx

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  3. I'm looking forward to the rest of your story! It makes me that much more thrilled for you guys for the birth of your baby since you struggled initially to have him. I find all of you inspiring that share stories like this! xo

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  4. Can't wait to hear more! Thanks for sharing your big heart my friend!

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  5. I can't wait to hear more, your thoughts during the process. I think I'd told you how we tried for over a year about 3 years ago with no luck, so I'm very curious to see what we will happen when we decide to try again. I do feel like it's all Gods plan though, he knows exactly what he is doing and already has it all planned out for us. I am curious though :)

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  6. I don't know how I'm going to read the next post... I'm bawling like a baby already... Thank you for being so open and real.

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  8. it took us six months to get pregnant... it was such an emotional time! xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  9. I definitely understand about wanting to be a wife and mom before all other things. I've always said that I would be okay with not being a Doctor if I could be a wife and a mom. I am so excited to hear more of your story, thank you for sharing your heart with us!

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  10. Oh my goodness. It's like reading my own thoughts. Plus our anniversaries are only 1 week apart - LOVE that! I cannot even believe it's almost been 3 years!

    While my husband and I aren't trying (yet!), I have always been one of those girls who dreamed of being a wife and mom. And I also really believe that my purpose in life is to be a mama to my future babies (and although that may not be a popular belief today, I love that!). I worry about how long it will take for us to get pregnant and so knowing that you (and so many other women) have been there makes it a little easier. I am so unbelievably happy for you. You're going to be an amazing mom. Actually, I think you already are :)

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  11. I'm so, so happy that you decided to share your journey. I remember reading your post a while back when you revealed that you had been trying for over a year to get pregnant. My husband and I having been trying for a baby for 8 months now, and it's one of the hardest things I've done. Who would have thought getting pregnant would be so difficult? Like you, I've wanted nothing more in my life than to become a wife and mother. My husband and I started trying right after we got married because I was prepared for this journey to take a little while (I guess I can chalk that one up to instinct?). After about 6 months of trying I was ready for it to happen already. I know it will. God put this desire in my heart many, many years ago for a reason, and I know he will provide. I just have to give it time and trust in His timing. I've loved following your journey, and I'm excited to see you transition into motherhood!

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  12. So beautifully written. I'm glad you decided to share your story with us, can't wait to read more!

    Diane ~ Sweet Catastrophe Blog

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  13. Aww this is such a sweet story, I can't wait to read the rest. I have always dreamed of being a wife and mother too so I can't wait to hopefully enjoy that one day!

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  14. I'm so eager to hear the rest of your story! I'm sure some people take getting pregnant for granted, but it's not that easy for everyone. Since I'm doing OB right now I'm learning about all things womanly and baby-related so thank you for sharing your experiences :)

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  15. Can't wait to read more of this! We have been trying since September and it's much more complex than I would have ever imagined! So glad you shared!

    www.madeintheshadeblog.com

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  16. So good to read. It is also a goal of mine to get to know people I know, bloggers I know even better, and to be more real and revealing about my life in social media and blogging. It is so brave of you to share this. I have heard increasing amounts of stories like this, I am excited to read the rest of it as of course everyone is different. So glad that you are sharing this with others and that you are on your way to having sweet Maddox. :) - I absolutely wanted to be a wife and mother as a kid too. I love being a wife, I love my husband, I DO want to have children someday... but I am absolutely terrified of the process. The baby part I think I could handle... just not the part that comes before... someday I'm sure. :) XO -Alexandra

    Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things

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  17. You're my favorite. I'm so glad you opened your heart up for others that could be going through this. I'm also so thankful God gave you your heart's desires. You're going to make an amazing mother! xoxo

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