I can't believe my Maddox is already a week old! So cliche, but I'd love for time to slow down already! This week has been a whirlwind of family and friends visiting to meet our little man and shower him with love. It's been such a blessing seeing the joy he brings to all of their faces. Little man is seriously L-O-V-E-D.
I am working on my birth story so hold tight - it's coming!
I did want to take a moment to document the roller coaster this first week has been. Not only for myself and the memories I want to document, but for other ladies who are about to experience childbirth and mamahood for the first time. Looking back I can't remember ever reading any woman's experience about the first week of becoming a mother other than the cute pictures plastered on Instagram. I feel like had I read someone's reality, I would have had a different perspective. I was naive enough to think everything was going to be rainbows and butterflies. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of beautiful, cherishable moments! But there are also some really dark moments that I don't hear a lot of women talk about. So I'm going to share my heart today in the form of a letter to myself. I hope this brings peace to a mama in her first week of mamahood.
Maegen,
Your dream became a reality. You are a mama! You made it through childbirth and though it was difficult and painful, those memories will soon fade in a matter of days and you will simply just remember hearing your son's cry for the first time and watching your husbands face change in a way that will be imprinted on your heart forever.
You won't get much rest this week. Forget full nights, HECK, even half nights of sleep. You are going to feel as if your world has come unglued and may never come together again. But I promise it will. The first few nights are the hardest. Once you leave the hospital and you finally have some stillness and a sense of normality at home, things will still be hard. You are learning your son. What his different cries mean, what his body signals are communicating, how he likes to sleep, how he likes to be held. It's all new. Don't be frustrated, he didn't come with a manual.
He won't have a schedule right away. That's for you to create. You can read every article you want about newborn sleep patterns and feeding schedules, but in reality this is your child and God made Him unique. He will tell you when he's hungry and quite often it's every hour. He will tell you if he hates being swaddled and you can try something new until you find what he likes. Hold tight, it will soon become easier and you will feel like you've got this mama thing down to a science (until the next curve-ball is thrown).
You will feel like you may never feel normal again. The house is a wreck, the thought of make-up makes you cringe and a shower seems like a half marathon. Your body hurts (you just gave birth to a child that you carried for 41 weeks) and now you are expected to produce milk for your child and be a constant drinking fountain. Savor it. These moments aren't going to last forever. The love you feel for that child when you look down at him is enough to get you through the next few days.
Studying your Bible and reading a devotion each day will you give you such a sense of peace that your soul is craving. When you feel hopeless, pray. When tears fill your eyes, open His word and let Him wash you with grace. I promise you will feel Him as quickly as you blink your eyes and a sense of calm will rush over you.
Snuggle Jon. His world was just rocked too, don't forget about him. Maddox needs you, but so does Jon. He needs his wife to remind him this is a phase and a sense of normality is just around the corner! He needs to be reminded Maddox needs you more right now, but there will be a day when all he wants is his Daddy. Use Jon for your benefit too. He will give you the comfort and push you need to get through the next moment. Fall into each others arms and make yourself a team.
Sleep when you can. I know you were never a day napper before, but you better start! When help is around take the opportunity to nap, don't feel the need to entertain. When you are alone and he sleeps, rest. Forget the dishes, they don't matter. Get your rest so you can feel refreshed and be the best mom and wife you can be.
Don't be afraid to leave your house. A simple walk out your front door, soaking up some Vitamin D will make you feel like a new woman! If you really want to feel accomplished, load up Maddox in his car seat and go somewhere. The park, Target, the office, out to lunch with hubby... somewhere. You are going to realize it seems daunting to cross that threshold with your new bundle because you have no clue how he will act, but as soon as you do, you will realize it's not that hard and it makes you feel normal and accomplished. And Maddox can adapt to your life. The sooner he does, the better.
Don't be afraid to leave your house. A simple walk out your front door, soaking up some Vitamin D will make you feel like a new woman! If you really want to feel accomplished, load up Maddox in his car seat and go somewhere. The park, Target, the office, out to lunch with hubby... somewhere. You are going to realize it seems daunting to cross that threshold with your new bundle because you have no clue how he will act, but as soon as you do, you will realize it's not that hard and it makes you feel normal and accomplished. And Maddox can adapt to your life. The sooner he does, the better.
Most importantly, soak it up. It's only been 7 days and Maddox has already gained his own personality and grown up right before your eyes. Savor this time because he is your first child and will always have a special place in your heart. You can't re-live this chaotic bliss.
Kiss that face. Constantly.
